When the mother of the groom speaks at the wedding or rehearsal dinner doesn’t always happen at the exact moment you may have heard from the experts or even experienced at another wedding reception or rehearsal dinner.
There’s actually no clear or definitive consensus on when them mother of the groom should speak and most reputable wedding publications don’t seem to agree on a single rule. This is because wedding planning is not a straightjacket and every couple seems to have their own way of doing things.
Here at Standing Ovation Speeches, our research reveals that when the mother of the groom speaks depends on she is speaking at a rehearsal dinner or wedding reception, the personalities involved, and the wedding dynamics and organizational structure at play.
To see if we could get one clear answer, we investigated reputable wedding magazines, expert opinions, real online forums and guests reactions on mother of the groom speech clips on YouTube to pull together the key differences and commonalities.
Here is what we found, based on global wedding editorial guides, feedback from wedding professionals, and the pulse of real wedding guests and couple.
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Rehearsal Dinner vs. Wedding Reception: Where Should The Mother Of The Groom Speak?
To start, let’s make this distinction very clear: most mothers of the groom choose to speak at the rehearsal dinner, which is intimate and allows for a more personal speech about her son. In fact, for every 5 moms we’ve worked with at Standing Ovation Speeches, 3 choose to speak at this setting.
That doesn’t mean that she can’t speak at the wedding reception. Some mothers do speak at the reception but where she speaks depends largely on the couple’s preferences. So it’s best to ask the couple about their timeline and vision for the day.
Here’s What 5 Wedding Pros Say About When The Mother Of The Groom Should Give Her Speech
To find out whether wedding professionals—specifically wedding planners and coordinators —share similar or divergent views on when the mother of the groom should speak, we decided to take a peel into the minds of five of them.
Here’s what we found.
All five agreed that the mother of the groom can speak at both the rehearsal dinner and wedding reception. When it comes to the rehearsal dinner, however, the professional guidance points to having her speak at the beginning of the evening, before the meal is served, rather than waiting until after the dinner. When guests are full and ready to socialize.
Interestingly, they didn’t offer the same specific timing recommendation for the wedding reception.
Comparing What Major Wedding Outlets Say About Mother Of The Groom Speech Timing
- The Knot (United States)
Let’s start with the US-based wedding magazine The Knot. Founded in 1996, it is one of the most widely cited wedding media platforms in the wedding world. According to its guidance, the groom’s parents can speak after the bride’s parents. It also notes that parents of the groom often give their speeches at the rehearsal dinner rather than at the wedding reception.
- Brides Magazine(United States)
Another leading US publication, Brides magazine(which dates all the way back to 1934) echoes a similar structure. Their editorial guidance state that any formal reception toasts from the groom’s parents traditionally comes immediately after the bride’s parents take the microphone.
- Bridebook(United Kingdom)
Uk-based wedding platform Bridebook offers a distinctly different perspective. UK traidtions often place the mother of the groom’s speech after the maid of honor toast, typically following the ‘’wedding breakfast’’(the main meal after the ceremony).
Notably, Bridebook points out a growing modern trend toward moving speeches to before the meal so speakers can relax and enjoy their dinners without pre-speech jitters.
Key Takeaway: Regional And Cultural Variations:
What we can we deduce from those leading outlets? Depending on where you live, the traditional order of wedding speeches may vary from country to country and in some cases from state to state or even from one wedding to another. Ultimately, local customs, cultural traditions, and the couple’s preferences all play a role, meaning there is no single universal rule to follow.
Our Recommendation For Mothers Of The Groom
If you are the mother of the groom wondering when you should speak, don’t assume there is one right answer.
Start by asking the couple where and when they would like the mother of the groom to share their words. The key is to align directly with the couple’s vision rather than relying on what happened at another wedding or what a single wedding publication suggests.
