When the mother of the bride usually speaks depends on the occasion, whether it is a bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, or wedding reception. It also depends on the role she plays in the wedding, whether the bride has asked her to speak, and the family’s traditions.
At Standing Ovation Speeches, we decided to investigate this question because advice on the subject varies widely across wedding publications, planner, and members of rhe wedding community, including brides sharing their personal experiences.
Let’s examine what the sources say, explore the reasons behind their recommendations, so you can figure out when the mother of the bride should speak.
Bridal Shower vs. Wedding Reception vs. Rehearsal Dinner
After reviewing 12 sources from the wedding community, we found that the occasion at which the mother of the bride speaks often depends on the role she has been given and whether she has been invited to address the guests.
Traditionally, wedding speech etiquette assigned a prominent role to the father of the bride, while the mother played a supporting role in helping her daughter prepare for the wedding. Today, however, mothers of the bride frequently take on speaking roles for a variety of reasons, including:
- Absence of the father: The father of the bride has passed away or is absent from his daughter’s life.
- Primary Caregiver Role: The mother has been the primary parental figure in her daughter’s life.
- Health or Attendance Issues: The father cannot attend or speak due to health concerns or unforeseen circumstances.
- Personal preference: The bride or the couple simply wants the mother to have a prominent role in the celebrations.
While these are common reasons a mother might speak, every family’s situation is unique, and there is no universal rule dictating who must speak at a wedding.
1. When Does The Mother Of The Bride Speak at the Bridal Shower?
If the mother of the bride is hosting the bridal shower, she may welcome the guests, introduce the occasion, or deliver a formal speech.
Whether she gives a full address or simply says a few warm words deepens on the event arrangements and family preferences. If she is hosting the shower and wishes to speak, it’s best to discuss the itinerary with bride before hand to determine where her remarks fit best.
2. When Does The Mother Of The Bride Speak At the Rehearsal Dinner?
The mother of the bride typically has fewer speaking opportunities at the rehearsal dinner, particularly when the event is hosted by the groom’s family. However, this does not mean she can’t speak.
She may be invited to offer a few remarks if the couple or hosts want both families represented , if she has a close relationship with the groom’s parents, or if she played a significant role in organizing the wedding. Ultimately, the hosts and the couple decide who speaks.
3. When Does The Mother Of The Bride Speak at the Wedding Reception?
The wedding reception is another occasion when the mother of the bride may be invited to speak.
Based on our review of the 12 sources, her opportunity to speak may arise when the couple schedules her for a formal speech, when the reception includes an open-mic session, or when she is asked to speak in place of the father of the bride.
The last situation may arise when the father has passed away, is unable to attend or if the father of the bride feels very uncomfortable with addressing a crowd, he may ask the mother to speak on his behalf. Alternatively, they may decide to deliver a joint speech.
However, the mother of the bride is not the only person who can step in if the father of the bride is absent or unable to speak. The bride’s brother, another close family member like her uncle, or someone who has played an important role in her life may also be invited to deliver a speech.
The decision ultimately rests with the bride and the couple who can choose the person they feel most comfortable with to represent the family.
However, you should never assume that the mother of the bride have am opportunity to speak because not every reception includes an open mic and speech orders vary.
At Standing Ovation Speeches, we recommend discussing your plans with the bride in advance to confirm your slot and know who speaks before and after you.
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